Meditation

One of my goals for the new year was to meditate more often, more clearly AND effectively. I mean whats the point of meditating if it is not beneficial? Well, I'm not sure if you know this, but meditating is hard! Particularly when your brain is filled with too many thoughts and as a whole you're running on empty. I have a book that helps you get to that calm and peaceful place - but I can't seem to achieve it. Then again, I love to beat myself up. Who knows if I am doing a good job or not. I do know that I do not feel relaxed when meditation is complete. So after almost  two months of pity I decided to go to the pros! Tomorrow I am going to Shambala Meditation Center in Chicago. I'm a little iffy, I have some concerns, but for the most part I hope they are welcoming like all the reviews I read online :)

To be continued...

UPDATE: 2/28/12
The people there are very nice. Welcoming. I arrived and first sat down with a meditation coach; Barbara, who had been meditating since 1981!! The place is a large mansion style of a house...if that makes any sense. There were plenty of rooms all over. She took me upstairs and we practiced posture and breathing techniques alone in a small room. It was very hard for me to let go and relax. I was always worried about if I was breathing and positioned correctly. Sigh...the life of a perfectionist. After about 20 minutes Barb took me downstairs and allowed me to join group meditation. She kind of just abandoned me with this group :( I had no idea what I was doing. I felt like I was disturbing others when I walked in. Yes I was the only Black person in the room. I notice most people bowed to the Buddhist "shrine" that was in the front of the room when they entered or exited. Yea...I didn't understand this. I didn't feel comfortable to do this - so I did not.  We started off with a friendliness chant that was very general and discussed peace with all mankind. We soon moved into a booklet of chants that were handed out. I did not understand the names or language of the chants. I felt very uncomfortable. Though I grew up Baptist, I am not associated with any religion today, but I AM very spiritual. I know GOD. I did not want to be rude, but if something doesn't feel right. I left. I thought my experience would be more of meditating for peace within yourself. The chants I could definitely do without. I had a brief discussion before I left with the guy at the front desk regarding the purpose of the chants. Who are you chanting to? Is Buddhism a religion? His argument was not very convincing.