Get Well Soon ...me

If I recieve another phone call that somebody has died....sigh. Can I take it? Emotionally I'm all drained out. With another relative gone, I desperately need to keep in touch with family members and old friends better, but sometimes hurt gets in the way. Other times my busy life of business clogs my memory. Even as I face another funeral and mingle with family- hurt swallows my thoughts. My hurt magnifies to unconcern which leads to discontent and rolls over to regret. Hurt always gets in the way. So my question, in 2009 who's next? Am I prepared to go? Am I ready to let another walk out of my life for good? Few have hurt me, not all. Why can't I pinpoint the hurt that causes me pain? It's so much easier to disassociate myself from it all. I miss you. I miss me. I have so many reasons, so many words, so much hurt and no direction to place it.